Baby born!!! My Brother’s baby girl is here and I am just waiting to get my preteen girl through her summer camps so we can go see the new addition to our family!!! Change is marked by excitement and chaos. This happy event of a new life is one of the most amazing experiences as life invents itself - a truth as deep as the Monterey Bay. Hope in life is somehow renewed!
When you look into a new born you cannot help to smile. Beauty and hope reside in the bundle of joy that God has entrusted to your care.
I remember those days…
Now my preteen is wonderful and amazing, but I am starting to understand that there will be challenges aplenty. A different set of skills are needed for this next phase of life.
I have accepted that children need a strong connection to their parents and have been aware of times when that is not achieved there are problems that get better with time spent together. So I expected some rumbles after she came back from her 2 week vacation with Dad (aka really vacation with Grandma.) Dad not taking any time off to reinforce how important she is in his life does not make my job easier as I need to deal with the emotional backlash since she is completely at ease expressing her feelings with me.
“Mom I missed you,” my little one says, followed by four tantrums within 48 hours. Older child tantrums consist much of toddler’s tantrums except my patience for this behavior as a preteen is less. Whining, throwing things, yelling, pushing, and persistent defiance are manageable, but outright refusal does not work for me!
Last night I told my daughter to get out of my house and not to come back until she can listen to me (disclaimer - her Dad was in the driveway to pick her up for his scheduled night.) She left with tears in her eyes and I did not sleep at all last night with sadness and dread in my heart.
In the morning she came in all ready to forget, she could see in my eyes it was not over, “Mom I can’t wait to show you what I got for you from Disneyland!”
I motion to sit on the couch.
“It’s too dark in here.”
“I’ll open the drapes,” I say as I draw them open letting the sun in the front room. She is already in the family room, as I follow, I remind myself that resistance to authority is natural for the young child to develop. The Preteen/teen period appears to be long and trying and I better pick my battles. I view the t-shirt from Disneyland and kiss her cheek in appreciation, amazed how thoughtful she is.
At the breakfast table I ask, “Is it alright for a kid not to listen to their parent?”
“No,” says my daughter.
I look at her, “okay.”
After her first camp and before the second camp I hug her, “I will never tell you to get out of my house again. It is your house too! Next time we will just have a time-out and you may go to your room.”
“Okay, I love you,” she smiles.
“I love you too,” I say as I lovely look into her beautiful eyes.
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
No Technology for Our Children?
This San Francisco Magazine article titled Tech gets a time-out written by Dan Fost
A great insight into many Waldorf parent's decision to hold off or minimize technology in their household for their children. It does not mean they do not use it. It means they make a choice on what to expose their child to whose capacities are still developing.
http://www.sanfranmag.com/story/tech-gets-a-time-out
This approach honors childhood and does not look at the children as mini-me.
Technology = richer expansive life
Facebook facilitates communication on an everyday level to family and friends across the world. It has also made our life more complex, perhaps even our knowledge, while expanded, a bit swallow. And whether or not a Waldorf parent, parents across this nation need to manage and monitor their child's internet action.
Parents need to be informed and think
I don't like being told that my child needs technology! Equally I don't like to be told that my child should not have technology. I think if parents think about the issue, truely think, and read, and listen to their own intuition - they will be able to come up with a decision that fits their family. And as the sands change so should their decision as their children develop.
Myth #1- No technology will hurt the child
One pet peeve of mine is people thinking that kids will be left behind if they are not introduced to technology in the womb. Well okay, maybe not that early, but kindergarden. Bullshit. And shame on you to think such. Did the inventor of technology have computers when they grew up? No. I did not have technology when I grew up in the 70s and 80s. Yet I can use a computer, go to the computer store and know about the components, pitch high tech, such as USB 3.0 and achieve results of being published, download pictures/music, research, social media saavy, video usability plus download, upload & reformat, print envelopes (this is actually fairly difficult - resulting in crying as jams and problems, usually a deadline for Chirstmas cards) - well you get the point. If a num-skull like me can do this with mud pie, collecting lady bugs, climbing trees, riding my bike kind of training - well you get the point. Another question - did you have computer training while growing up? Are you able to use the computer?
This throw kids tons of tech so they wont be left behind does drive me crazy. What about the fact that technology changes so fast that what they learn will be OBSOLUTE?! Then there is the thought that they can build on what they learned. Seriously?! To push a button to turn it on? Oh ya let's remember the rocket science needed in typing in what you need to research. Heck you don't even need to click on the magnifiy glass, just click enter.
Ya know I would be okay if they taught typing because I cringe when I watch my daughter on the keyboard. And I have never known anyone to get addicted to a typewriter. The only thing that hinders my technology advancement is my moods. Sometimes I don't want to know anything about technology, or sometimes my drive or focus is not there. I'd rather be in the garden.
A great insight into many Waldorf parent's decision to hold off or minimize technology in their household for their children. It does not mean they do not use it. It means they make a choice on what to expose their child to whose capacities are still developing.
http://www.sanfranmag.com/story/tech-gets-a-time-out
This approach honors childhood and does not look at the children as mini-me.
Technology = richer expansive life
Facebook facilitates communication on an everyday level to family and friends across the world. It has also made our life more complex, perhaps even our knowledge, while expanded, a bit swallow. And whether or not a Waldorf parent, parents across this nation need to manage and monitor their child's internet action.
Parents need to be informed and think
I don't like being told that my child needs technology! Equally I don't like to be told that my child should not have technology. I think if parents think about the issue, truely think, and read, and listen to their own intuition - they will be able to come up with a decision that fits their family. And as the sands change so should their decision as their children develop.
Myth #1- No technology will hurt the child
One pet peeve of mine is people thinking that kids will be left behind if they are not introduced to technology in the womb. Well okay, maybe not that early, but kindergarden. Bullshit. And shame on you to think such. Did the inventor of technology have computers when they grew up? No. I did not have technology when I grew up in the 70s and 80s. Yet I can use a computer, go to the computer store and know about the components, pitch high tech, such as USB 3.0 and achieve results of being published, download pictures/music, research, social media saavy, video usability plus download, upload & reformat, print envelopes (this is actually fairly difficult - resulting in crying as jams and problems, usually a deadline for Chirstmas cards) - well you get the point. If a num-skull like me can do this with mud pie, collecting lady bugs, climbing trees, riding my bike kind of training - well you get the point. Another question - did you have computer training while growing up? Are you able to use the computer?
This throw kids tons of tech so they wont be left behind does drive me crazy. What about the fact that technology changes so fast that what they learn will be OBSOLUTE?! Then there is the thought that they can build on what they learned. Seriously?! To push a button to turn it on? Oh ya let's remember the rocket science needed in typing in what you need to research. Heck you don't even need to click on the magnifiy glass, just click enter.
Ya know I would be okay if they taught typing because I cringe when I watch my daughter on the keyboard. And I have never known anyone to get addicted to a typewriter. The only thing that hinders my technology advancement is my moods. Sometimes I don't want to know anything about technology, or sometimes my drive or focus is not there. I'd rather be in the garden.
What's your thoughts? Computers as Mobiles? Plugged-in kids in front of the TV? What age?
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